Coping & Communicating With Quaran-teammates

There may be disagreements in the home about the pandemic and how to solve for it.

The concerns that we have can be stressful.  It is common to be less patient and feel anxious or angry when disagreements arise when sharing personal opinions and values.  We are constantly hearing "we are all in this together," but we are also simultaneously in our own worlds, with our own thoughts and personal challenges. When political or fundamental beliefs are in discord in the home, frustraion and hurt feelings can escalate to bigger problems.  With the multitude of ways of looking at solutions to this colossal problem and the implications of them, it is almost impossible to agree on every factor. A good indicator in deciding whether or not to "agree to disagree" on certain matters is when a riff is resulting from the differing views. Putting an end to a heated discussion allows everyone to still be "right" in their own mind, but not at the expense of a relationship. 

When "quaran-teammates" do not understand or respect each other's fears, anxiety and anger can result. 

It is important to express yourself clearly and ask for what you need. We can easily say things in ways that cause conflict. Saying something like, "You always have the damn news on and it is making me crazy" will more than likely cause an argument without a peaceful resolution. Simple "I statements," will help you frame your feelings and needs clearly. The model is this:  I feel ___________ when  ___________ because _____________.  I need or want ____________.  Using the example, the same message could be said like this:  I feel anxious when the news is on all day because it reinforces my fears and creates new ones.  I want  us to come to an agreement about how much time the news is on each day. It is much less likely for the receiver of an "I statement" to become defensive when you are stating how you feel and why, versus blaming them for making you feel a certain way. This clear communication is necessary in order to be understood and validated and consequently, less anxious. This "boundaried" way of communicating may be new and feel unnatural at first, but it is concise and effective, and helps to relieve stress. 

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